My first court appearance was in July 2003. The judge asked for a CAFCASS report to be made. I was told, that this would then be used by the judge, who rarely goes against it. My case was appointed to the nearest office, 13 miles away.

My ex partner failed to turn up twice, and no action was taken. She then refused a third time, because i was to spend half an hour with the children. On this occasion, she was told she must show.

The meeting started badly. First, my ex approached me, shouting abuse. The CAFCASS officer had to intervene. Next, my children refused to speak. I had been pre-warned of this, by a friend of my ex. But after 5-10 minutes, we were talking, then playing a spelling game, and the meeting ended with both children giving me a love. I was very pleased, that after almost a year of brainwashing, it had not worked.

When i received the report, i was overjoyed. If i could prove that my ex was not a good mother, i would get shared access. If not, contact would be several hours per fortnight, leading up to overnight stays. What i did not know, was that the courts would then allow my ex, yet another year, to try and turn the children against me. This was to be more successful.

At the meeting at CAFCASS, the case worker encouraged both children, to tell me what they wanted for Christmas, which was just weeks away. Their mother had refused them, the previous year, and both children had expressed disappointment, at me not getting them presents. But to my horror, i was the told, after the children had gone, that i would not be allowed to give the children these. Nor would any of my family. So my children thought i had let them down again. An attempt to drop the presents off with my ex partners solicitors, also failed.

There were several small courts appearances, any my solicitors were very confident of a court order being made in my favour. Their only concern, was that the CAFCASS officer was well known, for "backing down in court".

I was offered an hour per week, supervised in a small room. I could not believe it. It was not natural for the children, and i knew the children would not be happy there. I wanted them at home, with all my family waiting. But i was told, that it was the only offer. My ex partner agreed, so i did not even get my day in court, something that i had waited a year for. But my ex had only agreed, because she had no intention of sticking to it.

My first visit, was a sham. both children were OK, but had clearly been told not to engage. My son said his mother had told him he was not coming again. We were toy fighting, and my son was laughing. He got a stare off his sister, as if to say "you are not supposed to be doing that, and he turned. He started chucking everything around. My ex, then refused to honour the order again. She was rewarded for this, with the court order being suspended. A new court date was set. The other side were criticised, and someone else was appointed to look at contact.

SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF CAFCASS. A TOTAL SHAM!!